Somewhere, across the night, a soul wanders past midnight, without a home to call one’s own. Once, at 3 a.m., I had the light on in my apartment. Someone, ran from across the parking lot to my door, immediately going for the doorknob, trying to unlock the door without even knocking. Sure, in retrospect, I have more compassion for him than I did at the time. Yet, the survival instinct kicks in immediately upon threat; so, of course, I did not open the door at that time. This is despite the fact that I have opened my door, so to speak, for near strangers, even several, that I had only met that day, and gave them a place to rest for the night. However, unless one embraces a policy of radical charity, it is necessary to draw a fine line at times.
Then there is the time that I invited a friend of mine over for Passover, a number of years ago. He knocked on my door a little earlier than expected. He told me that he had met someone in the park, who might like to attend the seder. I was hesitant; I decided not to grant the invite to the stranger whom he had met, moreso out of selfish reasons, than anything else. I was looking forward to a night of discussion on the various passages of the Haggadah, wherein my friend and I would each share our own insights. I was unwilling to have any disturbance of that endeavor, even for the sake of hospitality.
Yet, in not granting permission to have another guest at my table, I missed the mark and inadvertently went against the words found in the very Haggadah that we read from that night. “All who are hungry – come and eat. All who are needy – come join the Passover celebration. Whether or not I’ll get another chance to do the right thing in a similar circumstance, I do not know. And, so, my obstinacy that night may continue to echo as silent reminder of my negligence.
drift unseen across the years;
surfacing at night.
4 thoughts on “Silent Confession”
The dynamics of human nature are never easy my friend, all we can really do is our best.🙂✌🏼🏼
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree to the extent that trying my best means to make my best effort within the framework of my own limitations as a human being; yet, I can do more than “try my best,” when I seek help from Above. The key point for me is to not always try to rely on myself; rather, to seek guidance and direction, as well as the moral strength to do the right thing, as imbued from a higher authority. Shalom.
It is not always easy to live by the rules, and there are often good reasons not to, but I can understand the contradictions.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The “rules” that I seek to follow are meant to promote morality; so, ultimately, it is not so much about following the rules, per se, as much as developing a clear sense of morals. On the other hand, it is not easy to follow one’s conscience, even if steeped in moral principles; so, there is a need to fall back upon the rules, especially if one believes in the authority of the Rule Giver.